Month: September 2017

 

I’ve always been a confident person. I’m just comfortable in my own shoes, except for when I’m pregnant. My feet swell and the blood flow to my confidence muscle gets cut off via my tight shoes.

 

But I’ve known this pregnancy was different.

 

As you know, I’m not the happiest pregnant girl. I don’t “glow” effortlessly, I actually have to put in a lot of extra time to feel/look normal. I do gain 50 lbs during my pregnancies and I’m not stopping that trend anytime soon to my chagrin. (I’m at 23 lbs and counting, woo, new record.)

 

Although this pregnancy has been similar to my others, I have changed one thing more so than anything, my mindset.

 

I am determined more than ever to soak this all in. (Although I would be lying if I said I wouldn’t have this baby tomorrow if a magical genie gave me the option.)

 

 

I’m stopping more often to enjoy the kicks, knowing this will be my last time experiencing the feeling. I’m staring at the ultrasound pictures more often, wondering what my little guy will look like, knowing this kind of anticipation is unlike anything I’ve experienced outside of pregnancy.

 

But above all else, I’m trying to love myself during this vulnerable time. A time where I feel bloated, gassy, irritable, puffy and just not myself.

 

I’ve avoided pictures during my past pregnancies like the plague. They’re memories of an uncomfortable time in my life I haven’t truly enjoyed. Don’t get me wrong, I love having my babies, they are my greatest blessings. I would go through the whole ordeal a billion times over to have my kids, but the process (pregnancy) is really rough on me emotionally and physically.

 

 

So this time I’ve tweaked the way I look at things a bit. For example, I started wearing pregnancy pants in my 1st trimester. I used to think the longer you could go without wearing “those” the better. WRONG. The moms-to-be who are winning, in my opinion, are the ones who are comfortable in what they’re wearing. It’s just a shame it’s taken me this long to figure it out.  Like this maternity dress for example, feels like butter. It’s amazing. It shows my bump instead of hiding it, and I’m totally ok with it!

 

I’ve also let my housework slide every so often. I’ve felt too much mom guilt before to let it spill over into this pregnancy. I try my best, but we do have plenty of lounging days with PB&J sandwiches for lunch and dinner.

 

I’ve also talked myself into letting myself be in pictures, despite my insecurities. I want to be able to look back years from now and show my kids my cute round face. I can appreciate the beauty in other strong, amazing, inspiring women who just happen to be pregnant, so why should I see myself any different?

 

It’s definitely been a learning curve, but I think I’m getting closer every day to loving this time in my life and appreciating for what it is. Stretch marks and all 🙂

 

We’re expecting again!

 

 

Although I’m so excited for our third little nugget to join us, there’s obviously always some things that come with pregnancy that I’m not a fan of. Of course there’s the nausea, and frequent trips to the bathroom, but there’s also those people who put their foot in their mouths. I’m only 18 weeks and man do some people REALLY like to put their foot in their mouths. So let me try to explain 5 things you shouldn’t tell a pregnant woman. There’s definitely more than 5 but let’s just stick to these for now.

 

  1. “I can’t believe you’re ALREADY showing.”

This one should be self explanatory, but then again, it wouldn’t be on the list if it was common knowledge. You can’t believe I’m already showing? ( Psst I’ll let you in a secret, this is my 3rd baby, and my uterus does know what it’s doing.) I can’t believe you decided to wear those earrings with that necklace. See what I did there? Maybe it’s something you’re thinking, but it shouldn’t come out of your mouth if it’s not a nice comment. Some of you may debate it’s not a malicious thing to say, but when you tell a pregnant women that, she questions why she’s showing enough to warrant a comment like the one you just gave her. How about next time you try, “I can’t believe you’re ALREADY glowing!” Ahh.. much better.

 

 

2. “You’re getting/look so big!”

Again, why? Why!? I don’t comment on your weight (when you’re not pregnant), so why comment on how big I look when pregnant. That’s kind of the point. I am growing an entire human being inside of me. Of course I’m going to look bigger than normal. Commenting on my growth stopped being flattering after puberty, and even then it was annoying. K?

 

 

3. “Are you sure you’re not farther along?”

Just no. Do you have a medical degree? If my “downstairs” doctor and my menstrual cycle didn’t already correctly guesstimate the arrival of my baby, what credentials do you have to question my answer. None. N-O-N-E.

 

 

4. “You look like you’re ready to be done.”

Gee thanks. This is just another way of telling me I look horrendous. You could have just as easily said, “You look miserable, uncomfortable, and have a resting stink face.” Yes, yes I do… but again, we don’t have to have this conversation unless I want to talk about it, and even then, cheer me up, don’t add to my pity party. How about instead of commenting on my general appearance, you just bring me a Haagen-Dazs to help make me feel better.

 

 

5. “My labor was 49 hours long, I tried to go natural, was in excruciating pain when I finally decided to get an epidural, and my anesthesiologist was a horrible jerk that had to poke me like 7 times before actually getting it right. Then I had to go into emergency C-section and was loopy on drugs for days.”

If I ask you specifically about how your delivery went, give me the dirty details, if I asked it’s because I want to know everything. But if I didn’t ask let’s just stick to, “My delivery was hard, but so worth it because of this beautiful little miracle in my lap.” I feel for first time moms with this one. They’re always told all the horror stories. Whether you try natural, elective c-section, epidural, episiotomy, home birth, hypno birth or a million other possibilities there’s always going to be someone who had a bad experience. But don’t push your opinions onto first time mamas (unless they ask). They already have so much to deal with. They love and want the best for their little one and will make the best decision they can with all the information given them, let’s not scare the already hormonal moms-to-be ya?

 

If you’re pregnant now know you are radiant no matter the comments, and please don’t compare yourself to others, “Comparison is the thief of joy”. There’s always going to be someone prettier, nicer and more talented than you and me. Enjoying our lives for our strengths, weaknesses and blessings is what it’s all about. I’m not a happy pregnant gal, it’s not my forte, and that’s ok. I’m just grateful for the opportunity.

 

I’m not going to lie, writing this was definitely more therapeutic than informative. I just smile and nod when these comments come my way now. I’ve truly had all these things said to me in every pregnancy and I’d like to scream my snarky remarks and internal thoughts to those who like to say things, but it’s not worth it. I would be just as bad as the people who say these things in the first place. Some people just don’t think before they speak.  So this is my outlet. Writing it down. Hopefully you laughed a couple times or at least sympathized with me lol.

 

Or again, maybe it’s just me.. and you all have no idea what I’m talking about. I hope some of you can relate 😉 Hang in there mama.

Find some more of my wonderful photographer’s work here.