We’re expecting again!
Although I’m so excited for our third little nugget to join us, there’s obviously always some things that come with pregnancy that I’m not a fan of. Of course there’s the nausea, and frequent trips to the bathroom, but there’s also those people who put their foot in their mouths. I’m only 18 weeks and man do some people REALLY like to put their foot in their mouths. So let me try to explain 5 things you shouldn’t tell a pregnant woman. There’s definitely more than 5 but let’s just stick to these for now.
- “I can’t believe you’re ALREADY showing.”
This one should be self explanatory, but then again, it wouldn’t be on the list if it was common knowledge. You can’t believe I’m already showing? ( Psst I’ll let you in a secret, this is my 3rd baby, and my uterus does know what it’s doing.) I can’t believe you decided to wear those earrings with that necklace. See what I did there? Maybe it’s something you’re thinking, but it shouldn’t come out of your mouth if it’s not a nice comment. Some of you may debate it’s not a malicious thing to say, but when you tell a pregnant women that, she questions why she’s showing enough to warrant a comment like the one you just gave her. How about next time you try, “I can’t believe you’re ALREADY glowing!” Ahh.. much better.
2. “You’re getting/look so big!”
Again, why? Why!? I don’t comment on your weight (when you’re not pregnant), so why comment on how big I look when pregnant. That’s kind of the point. I am growing an entire human being inside of me. Of course I’m going to look bigger than normal. Commenting on my growth stopped being flattering after puberty, and even then it was annoying. K?
3. “Are you sure you’re not farther along?”
Just no. Do you have a medical degree? If my “downstairs” doctor and my menstrual cycle didn’t already correctly guesstimate the arrival of my baby, what credentials do you have to question my answer. None. N-O-N-E.
4. “You look like you’re ready to be done.”
Gee thanks. This is just another way of telling me I look horrendous. You could have just as easily said, “You look miserable, uncomfortable, and have a resting stink face.” Yes, yes I do… but again, we don’t have to have this conversation unless I want to talk about it, and even then, cheer me up, don’t add to my pity party. How about instead of commenting on my general appearance, you just bring me a Haagen-Dazs to help make me feel better.
5. “My labor was 49 hours long, I tried to go natural, was in excruciating pain when I finally decided to get an epidural, and my anesthesiologist was a horrible jerk that had to poke me like 7 times before actually getting it right. Then I had to go into emergency C-section and was loopy on drugs for days.”
If I ask you specifically about how your delivery went, give me the dirty details, if I asked it’s because I want to know everything. But if I didn’t ask let’s just stick to, “My delivery was hard, but so worth it because of this beautiful little miracle in my lap.” I feel for first time moms with this one. They’re always told all the horror stories. Whether you try natural, elective c-section, epidural, episiotomy, home birth, hypno birth or a million other possibilities there’s always going to be someone who had a bad experience. But don’t push your opinions onto first time mamas (unless they ask). They already have so much to deal with. They love and want the best for their little one and will make the best decision they can with all the information given them, let’s not scare the already hormonal moms-to-be ya?
If you’re pregnant now know you are radiant no matter the comments, and please don’t compare yourself to others, “Comparison is the thief of joy”. There’s always going to be someone prettier, nicer and more talented than you and me. Enjoying our lives for our strengths, weaknesses and blessings is what it’s all about. I’m not a happy pregnant gal, it’s not my forte, and that’s ok. I’m just grateful for the opportunity.
I’m not going to lie, writing this was definitely more therapeutic than informative. I just smile and nod when these comments come my way now. I’ve truly had all these things said to me in every pregnancy and I’d like to scream my snarky remarks and internal thoughts to those who like to say things, but it’s not worth it. I would be just as bad as the people who say these things in the first place. Some people just don’t think before they speak. So this is my outlet. Writing it down. Hopefully you laughed a couple times or at least sympathized with me lol.
Or again, maybe it’s just me.. and you all have no idea what I’m talking about. I hope some of you can relate 😉 Hang in there mama.
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