I’ve always been a confident person. I’m just comfortable in my own shoes, except for when I’m pregnant. My feet swell and the blood flow to my confidence muscle gets cut off via my tight shoes.
But I’ve known this pregnancy was different.
As you know, I’m not the happiest pregnant girl. I don’t “glow” effortlessly, I actually have to put in a lot of extra time to feel/look normal. I do gain 50 lbs during my pregnancies and I’m not stopping that trend anytime soon to my chagrin. (I’m at 23 lbs and counting, woo, new record.)
Although this pregnancy has been similar to my others, I have changed one thing more so than anything, my mindset.
I am determined more than ever to soak this all in. (Although I would be lying if I said I wouldn’t have this baby tomorrow if a magical genie gave me the option.)
I’m stopping more often to enjoy the kicks, knowing this will be my last time experiencing the feeling. I’m staring at the ultrasound pictures more often, wondering what my little guy will look like, knowing this kind of anticipation is unlike anything I’ve experienced outside of pregnancy.
But above all else, I’m trying to love myself during this vulnerable time. A time where I feel bloated, gassy, irritable, puffy and just not myself.
I’ve avoided pictures during my past pregnancies like the plague. They’re memories of an uncomfortable time in my life I haven’t truly enjoyed. Don’t get me wrong, I love having my babies, they are my greatest blessings. I would go through the whole ordeal a billion times over to have my kids, but the process (pregnancy) is really rough on me emotionally and physically.
So this time I’ve tweaked the way I look at things a bit. For example, I started wearing pregnancy pants in my 1st trimester. I used to think the longer you could go without wearing “those” the better. WRONG. The moms-to-be who are winning, in my opinion, are the ones who are comfortable in what they’re wearing. It’s just a shame it’s taken me this long to figure it out. Like this maternity dress for example, feels like butter. It’s amazing. It shows my bump instead of hiding it, and I’m totally ok with it!
I’ve also let my housework slide every so often. I’ve felt too much mom guilt before to let it spill over into this pregnancy. I try my best, but we do have plenty of lounging days with PB&J sandwiches for lunch and dinner.
I’ve also talked myself into letting myself be in pictures, despite my insecurities. I want to be able to look back years from now and show my kids my cute round face. I can appreciate the beauty in other strong, amazing, inspiring women who just happen to be pregnant, so why should I see myself any different?
It’s definitely been a learning curve, but I think I’m getting closer every day to loving this time in my life and appreciating for what it is. Stretch marks and all 🙂